We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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