Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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