My brain says no but my pants say off.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
