Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
