i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
