Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
