i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize