I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
