Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i barfeds in our rink
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
