It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
