dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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