how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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