having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Houston, we have a squirter
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
