quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You need a sexual gate keeper
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
