Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
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You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
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I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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