I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
so much tequila, so little girl.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
