It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So squirting runs in the family.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This baby is an asshole
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
