i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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