I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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