Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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