idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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