All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
