I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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