Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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