Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line

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  (323): question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line http://tfl.nu/5bhb
  Replies (38) Good night (2624) Bad night (882) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.

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  (508): she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her. http://tfl.nu/2xab
  Replies (50) Good night (687) Bad night (3364) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  amen to that sister

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  (602): if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy (1-602): amen to that sister http://tfl.nu/k1jo
  Replies (21) Good night (3475) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.

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  (904): I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester. http://tfl.nu/arpr
  Replies (9) Good night (1027) Bad night (2718) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before

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  (518): I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before http://tfl.nu/9107
  Replies (20) Good night (5171) Bad night (1103)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen

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  (516): I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen http://tfl.nu/keq8
  Replies (18) Good night (1158) Bad night (8688) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.

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  (850): HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF. http://tfl.nu/8qce
  Replies (12) Good night (986) Bad night (2645) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...

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  (484): someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again... http://tfl.nu/xp70
  Replies (3) Good night (2080) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.

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  (714): there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe. http://tfl.nu/faaw
  Replies (10) Good night (2370) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.

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  (+44): ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret. http://tfl.nu/fyhz
  Replies (13) Good night (1910) Bad night (1667) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.

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  (910): Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started. http://tfl.nu/ywdk
  Replies (1) Good night (1313) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?

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  (404): It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar? http://tfl.nu/lonp
  Replies (6) Good night (1307) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.

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  (423): I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ. http://tfl.nu/ko9e
  Replies (11) Good night (1327) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.

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  (724): No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology. http://tfl.nu/e8xh
  Replies (8) Good night (3654) Bad night (492)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...

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  (731): Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels... http://tfl.nu/6gyu
  Replies (22) Good night (1284) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt

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