Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch

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  (313): I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me (1-313): restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch http://tfl.nu/60qu
  Replies (10) Good night (1041) Bad night (1927)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.

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  (651): if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call. http://tfl.nu/9x5y
  Replies (39) Good night (997) Bad night (6262)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.

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  (613): You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese. http://tfl.nu/lvqg
  Replies (9) Good night (4677) Bad night (880)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.

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  (502): After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza. http://tfl.nu/j0sn
  Replies (5) Good night (3857) Bad night (840)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.

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  (423): I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit. http://tfl.nu/4gp7
  Replies (27) Good night (1409) Bad night (7333)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?

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  (410): Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version? http://tfl.nu/niwx
  Replies (6) Good night (3007) Bad night (1115)
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  (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.

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  (445): My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment. http://tfl.nu/kvle
  Replies (5) Good night (1515) Bad night (820)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name

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  (403): I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name http://tfl.nu/7q8a
  Replies (4) Good night (2586) Bad night (871)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.

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  (928): I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready. http://tfl.nu/c6az
  Replies (19) Good night (2246) Bad night (719)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.

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  (765): Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater. http://tfl.nu/rsqd
  Replies (4) Good night (1519) Bad night (565)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...

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  (303): You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted... http://tfl.nu/r2o3
  Replies (1) Good night (1462) Bad night (603)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?

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  (303): When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight? http://tfl.nu/mdtp
  Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (460)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I think that's justified.

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  (360): I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB. (1-360): I think that's justified. http://tfl.nu/5alt
  Replies (0) Good night (826) Bad night (263)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.

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  (856): He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that? (443): YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE. http://tfl.nu/t1lf
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (869)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face

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  (407): Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face http://tfl.nu/1rfc
  Replies (1) Good night (393) Bad night (549)

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