I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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