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• (903): View more from Texas

  ....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else

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• (818): View more from California

  he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  The cops raided her house the day before class even started

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  Those assholes are becoming so efficient

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.

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• (707): View more from California

  Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.

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