It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.