I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
being pregnant is like rehab
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY