I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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