i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
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you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
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I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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