3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
