how can u be prego again
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
