Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
