$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize