is your mom at the bar?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.