u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
