Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
