We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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