it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
