Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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