Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
