Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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