I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
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I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
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His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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