can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Randomize
