Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
