No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
