i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
