if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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