Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
