she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just had sex on a roof
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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