fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
