I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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