Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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