I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
