that's an acceptable place to lick
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
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I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
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"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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