So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
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he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
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He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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