You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
