My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize