we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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